Voice Mail Options From an Overworked Answering Machine
* If you are obsessive/compulsive, press one repeatedly.
* If you are codependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
* If you have a multiple personality disorder, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
* If you are schizophrenic, a little voice will tell you what number to press.
* If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will ever return your call.
* If you have attention deficit disorder, we can't help you because you have already hung up.