Friday, July 13, 2012

Tongue in Cheek Quiz on Internet Knowledge

  1. HTML is . . . a computer software package
     a programming language
     the British CIA in Indonesia
     a surly mixed guava cocktail
     what I get from my mother's cooking
  2. You take care of your computer by: watering it often
     beating it regularly
     letting it snort heroin
     not letting it smoke
     singing to it
  3. The higher your modem speed, the faster . . . your eyeballs will fry
     you will get cancer
     scary men will find you
     your phone will ring
     information arrives at your doorstep
  4. Computers make fine: weapons
     chewing gum
     sexual toys
     punching bags
  5. Respiration is: something only the new PowerMacs can perform
     the coupling of two Great Turtles
     Newt Gingrich's cologne
     why plants are green
  6. The Internet is also known as: breakfast
     the Information Superhighway
     my mother
     the West Coast's I-95
  7. DPI refers to: Data Process Information
     Data Protocol Integration
     Denny's Pork Ice-cream
     Dots Per Inch
  8. A typical thing that your boyfriend/girlfriend would say to you is: (having said boy/girl-friend my be considered hypothetically if necessary) who are you?
     remember that thing with the Marachino Cherries? Well I can do it upside-down now. So, what's with the computer?
     have you eaten all of your broccoli today?
     start runnin', or I'm going to fire!
     I just love what you do with your PC!
  9. The easiest way to jumpstart a computer is: with caffeine
     with my breath
     a good pick-up line
     by using the power button
     through The Force
  10. DOOM is best described as: 666
     a bloodthirsty PC slaughterfest
     the militia-man's bible
     a waste of time
     the nickname of my Chevy Nova
  11. Ethically, I find recent laboratory experiments combining Bill Gates DNA with silicon microchips to be: hobbleygobbleygook
     dispicable; God will punish the offspring by making them in the image of Beavis and Butthead, and you can quote me on that!
     No problem at all. Hell, I want one!
     on par with the Oprah Windrey Show
  12. This survey: was not as exciting as my computer lab
     is the worst thing since processed cheese
     has allowed me to get in touch with my feminine nature.
     was written by a twisted little freak
     held my attention as long as my last s.o

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