Here's a restaurant that is willing to compromise on Gay Marriage

Helpful ProTip for people: The Onion may be America's Finest News Source™, but it's all made up satire.  Srlsy.

Literally Unbelievable cracks me up.

University of Georgia scientists' shocking discovery: Cats like to hunt

Well knock me over with a feather:

Results indicate that a minority of roaming cats in Athens (44%) hunt wildlife and that reptiles, mammals and invertebrates constitute the majority of suburban prey. Hunting cats captured an average of 2 items during seven days of roaming. Carolina anoles (small lizards) were the most common prey species followed by Woodland Voles (small mammals). Only one of the vertebrates captured was a non-native species (a House Mouse). Eighty-five percent of wildlife captures were witnessed during the warm season (March-November in the southern US). Cats roaming during warmer seasons were more likely to exhibit hunting behavior and the number of captures per hunting cat is expected to decrease with increasing cat age. Cat age, sex, and time spent outside did not significantly influence hunting behavior.

I eagerly await the results of their forthcoming study on which direction the sun rises in.  Can't wait for that one.

Leftie Professors take Seniors' Social Security checks

The Universities are reliably leftist, filled with intellectuals who despise the free market:

The schools, too, exhibited and thereby taught the principle of reward in accordance with (intellectual) merit. To the intellectually meritorious went the praise, the teacher's smiles, and the highest grades. In the currency the schools had to offer, the smartest constituted the upper class. Though not part of the official curricula, in the schools the intellectuals learned the lessons of their own greater value in comparison with the others, and of how this greater value entitled them to greater rewards.

The wider market society, however, taught a different lesson. There the greatest rewards did not go to the verbally brightest. There the intellectual skills were not most highly valued. Schooled in the lesson that they were most valuable, the most deserving of reward, the most entitled to reward, how could the intellectuals, by and large, fail to resent the capitalist society which deprived them of the just deserts to which their superiority "entitled" them? Is it surprising that what the schooled intellectuals felt for capitalist society was a deep and sullen animus that, although clothed with various publicly appropriate reasons, continued even when those particular reasons were shown to be inadequate?

And so what do these leftie intellectuals do?  They set up a system of student loans that cannot be discharged in bankruptcy.  In theory, your Social Security check will be garnished to pay for your Post-Modernist Gender Power Studies degree.

Oops, did I say "in theory"?  I meant "it's happening now":

According to government data, compiled by the Treasury Department at the request of SmartMoney.com, the federal government is withholding money from a rapidly growing number of Social Security recipients who have fallen behind on federal student loans. From January through August 6, the government reduced the size of roughly 115,000 retirees' Social Security checks on those grounds. That's nearly double the pace of the department's enforcement in 2011; it's up from around 60,000 cases in all of 2007 and just 6 cases in 2000.

But remember, it's those evil greedy capitalists who are making Seniors have to choose between buying food or buying their medications.  Did I say "evil, greedy capitalists"?  I meant "leftie University Professors":

The government's withholding power also extends to Social Security disability benefits. Tammy Brown of Redding, Calif. says that the government has been taking $179 out of her Social Security disability check each month for the past five years. Brown, 52, became disabled in 1986 after being involved in a car accident. Unable to work, she fell behind on her student loan payments. She says the Social Security check is now too small to cover her food and medical bills, so she quit taking prescription pain pills. "It's kind of hard to live on this amount of money," she says.

OK, look - maybe some disabled people can't afford to eat every other day or so, at least there's money for a new Diversity Vice President!  And Americans weigh too much, anyway.

Hey Progressives - I'll believe that your Righteous Rage at the market is actually moral when you direct an equal rage at your own institutions.  Otherwise, I'll just assume that you're being tribal - and not even being particularly smart about it, either.  Right now your howls about the heartless market sound like, well, drivel.  I'd like a higher caliber drivel, please.

A note to the Jaguar dealer ...

... on Alpharetta Highway: If you are going to send someone out with one of your flash rides, you might want to make sure that there's actually gas - sorry, sorry: petrol - in the tank.  Otherwise he might die blocking the turn lane here I want to, you know, turn.

And an extra pro-tip to the guy who's bringing him some gas - sorry, sorry, petrol:  it's bad form to come up so close to me from behind that you're almost kissing my bumper.  Sure, you're trying to get Mr. Bigshot rolling again, but if you had left ten feet I could have backed up and gone around him rather than being forced to wait.

In future if you could endeavor not to live down to all my worst expectations about Jaguar - insufferable stupid rich dudes and the arrogant toadies who tend to their automobiles that are broken down on the side of the road - I'd be very much appreciative.

Love, Borepatch.

LOL

Ratus is on a roll.